Do you ever get shy when you need to talk to someone new? Or maybe you just don’t know what to talk about. I read an article awhile ago and I thought it had great advice, so I want to share it with you! And I’d also like to say thank you to my mom who gave me the best advice ever, (not included in the 6 tips, but equally as awesome). My mom told me this when I was really young and it has stuck with me since then. If you don’t know how to meet someone new, the easiest line you can say is “Hi, my name is Alexi, what’s you’re name?” Easy, peasy!!
But after you have said hello and you need to keep a conversation going longer than names, then follow these 6 tips:
(Article found at site above, and text below includes slight editorial changes from me.)
If you sit around like a schmuck and wait for someone to suddenly shower you with conversation; you’ll be sitting and staring at the wall all night. Good things do not always come to those who wait, so get off your butt and start a conversation yourself. If you’re going to a social event, have some potential discussion topics in mind before you get there and you’ll be able to utilize small talk effortlessly and frequently.
Look for common interests.
Let’s say you see an interesting person at the bus stop you want to make small talk with. What’s that person doing while he/she waits? What’s he/she wearing? Do you see anything about him/her that suggests an interest that he/she shares with you, like reading a book by an author you like, wearing a T-shirt representing a band you listen to, or maybe he/she has the same stamp you have? Don’t take these little things for granted—they are there to promote conversation from like-minded people.
Don’t get too personal.
If you’re aiming for small talk with someone you met two seconds ago, it’s best not to discuss exceedingly personal things like your infected fingernail. If they kick off this kind of intimate chit-chat and you’re up for it, then engage. Otherwise, leave your personal life, health, and political views on the back burner until the person lets you know they’re comfortable talking about such things.
Keep discussion topics broad.
If you constantly want to chat about one thing—like your extensive assortment of Star Wars toys—people will probably find you boring. It’s okay to be proud of your expertise in a certain area, but shut up about it once in a while and make small talk about something else. If you find a fellow Star Wars geek, you can probably chatter about Yoda all night, but when you’re intermingled with non-Star Wars fans, try talking about more universal things like tastes in music or maybe employment. These are topics other people can make small talk about without needing to gracelessly derail from a tremendously specific subject. Basically, have something resembling a life and your horizons will be automatically broadened.
This is a big one, especially if your talking with women. Yes, do some of the talking, but shut your mouth and listen now and then too; whomever you’ve singled out won’t be too interested if they can’t get a word of small talk in edgewise. Take this advice from a married woman, girls dig guys who listen, especially if they are looking them in the eye and not at your phone or the tv.
Know when to call it quits. Once in a great while, you meet someone you can really connect with and the small talk flows like water. But even then, you have to know when the conversation fuse with this person has burned out. Thank them for the chitchat and tell them you need to use the bathroom or get a drink or something; if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll give you a phone number or an email to continue to chat in the future.
Do you have any other tips to conversation starters?